{"id":50733,"date":"2025-04-25T01:55:15","date_gmt":"2025-04-25T01:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sportnews.azontree.com\/?p=50733"},"modified":"2025-04-25T01:55:15","modified_gmt":"2025-04-25T01:55:15","slug":"pope-franciss-dying-wish-i-just-want-the-twins-to-sweep-the-godless-chicago-white-sox","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sportnews.azontree.com\/?p=50733","title":{"rendered":"Pope Francis\u2019s Dying Wish: \u201cI Just Want the Twins to Sweep the Godless Chicago White Sox\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
The world is still reeling from the news of Pope Francis\u2019s death on Monday, and as it turns out, the former head of the church was in a period of mourning and grief himself, before he died.<\/p>\n

\u201cI always felt a connection to the most broken and defeated among us, which drew me to the fan base of the Minnesota Twins,\u201d said Pope Francis in a private meeting with Twins Daily\u2019s own Gregg Masterson last fall. \u201cEven looking at your lifeless, defeated eyes as they stare back at me now, I know you have endured lifetimes of pain while watching this ballclub, and I feel the need to comfort you. I\u2019m here with you, my tortured son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Things have only gotten worse for both His Holiness and Twins Territory since that convocation. Pope Francis struggled through various health ailments, and the Twins find themselves near the bottom of the standings so far in the 2025 campaign. The only team that finds themselves closer to the bowels of Hell happens to be their opponent in a suddenly pivotal series at Target Field this week: the godless Chicago White Sox, as Deacon Randball Stu likes to refer to them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI tend to love everyone, but those wretched souls from Chicago are too far gone to be saved by grace,\u201d the Pontiff decreed. \u201cMay the evil within them be cast away from their grasp, just as wins have of late.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a harsh message from a man known for mercy, forgiveness and unconditional love\u2014but it\u2019s fair, given the atrocities of their ballclub in recent seasons. You can only bat Andrew Vaughn cleanup so many times before the devil comes a-knockin\u2019.<\/p>\n

In a recent report from the Vatican, the Pope had a moment of clarity in his final hours, and he had but one request for the world before departing.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, for the love of all that is holy, I just want the Twins to beat the Chicago White Sox this week so that they can get their season back on track,\u201d said the Bishop of Rome, as he genuflected and looked to the heavens. \u201cMay their bats see the light and awaken in prosperity. For a closed offense becomes a hardened offense.\u201d<\/p>\n

The funeral for Pope Francis will take place this Saturday, and while he\u2019s expected to be dressed in his finest robes and vestments, it is reported that he will also be donning a promotional Trevor Plouffe jersey handout that he received when visiting Target Field in 2016. He\u2019ll be holding his treasured Obi Wan Kepleroni bobblehead from Star Wars Night in 2019.<\/p>\n

The Twins Daily staff sends our heartfelt condolences after Pope Francis\u2019s passing, and we share in his sentiment that the White Sox are a scourge on our world. If the Holy Father has gone on to a better place, we can be sure he is without White Sox, even if not quite without sin.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The head of the church prayed for the Twins\u2019 struggling offense each and every day, through all the heartache and pain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":50734,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[1669],"class_list":["post-50733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mlb","tag-jorge-bergoglio"],"yoast_head":"\nPope Francis\u2019s Dying Wish: \u201cI Just Want the Twins to Sweep the Godless Chicago White Sox\u201d - NEWS USA<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sportnews.azontree.com\/?p=50733\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pope Francis\u2019s Dying Wish: \u201cI Just Want the Twins to Sweep the Godless Chicago White Sox\u201d - 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