Sweethearts. You know, the heart-shaped candy with the stilted sayings printed on them, that come in the pocket-size box with the see-through window? It takes a lot longer to describe them than it does to name them but the truth is, I didn’t know what they were called, and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. They’re popular around Valentine’s Day, and have been for over 150 years. For me, they’re second to chocolate on Valentine’s Day but evoke some memories, and that puts me right in line with the rest of America—we’re sort of fond of them somehow, but know they’re nowhere near as good as chocolate.

Sweethearts have deep ties to Boston (and environs), where they were made by the New England Confectionery Company (or Necco) until Necco went bankrupt and the Sweethearts operation moved to Ohio. There’s an interesting (and sometimes contentious) history there, but that doesn’t matter for our purposes. One historical note of interest: prior to about 1901, the candies were available in baseball shapes. A Sweetheart candy itself might characterize that as: Cool.

In case there were any doubts about the link to Boston and baseball, check out this box of Sweethearts featuring John Valentin in his Red Sox uniform.

Now let’s match a player to a Sweetheart candy saying. Here we go!

Puppy Love

Triston Casas. My favorite floppy-haired, breakfast-loving yogi

Dazzle

Garret Crochet. This is what we’re hoping for, anyway—dazzle us!

Miss You

Trevor Story…but really any of our injured players. Hopefully we have them all back for a good long time this season.

4 Ever

Walker Buehler, our projected #4 starter.

Go, Go, Go

David Hamilton

Me & U

Connor Wong and Carlos Narváez. After some heavy turnover at catcher (goodbyes to Reese McGuire, Danny Jansen, and Kyle Teel) it’s down to these two. Can they handle the increase in velocity from our new pitchers, as well as the need to frame and block more accurately?

1800 Cupid

Rafael Devers, still cherubic after all these years

Dig Me

Garrett Whitlock missed most of last season after undergoing internal brace surgery, but he was en fuego when he threw live batting practice earlier this week. (PS: Can en fuego make the updated list of Sweethearts sayings? They regularly weed out old platitudes and tap into new trends.)

Rock On

Rob Refsnyder. Keep doing what you do, Rob.

Hep Cat, Fax Me

These discontinued adages were once on-point but became stale over time. John Henry.

I Do

…swing at too many pitches out of the strike zone, said Ceddanne Rafaela.

Photo by Matthew J. Lee/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Get Real

Sam Kennedy

Love Him

Tanner Houck, who really stepped up in 2024 and feels primed to build on that career year.

Cool

The need for Vaughn Grissom’s services; it has cooled considerably.

Awe-some

Wilyer Abreu. He had some of my favorite catches last year, and also whaled 33 doubles. Plus he wears his heart on his sleeve (it’s too bad that’s too long for a candy because it’s perfect).

As If

Masataka Yoshida, playing as if the season is half as long as it actually is. I hope he’s built up his strength this off-season and can avoid the long, ice-cold streaks.

Tweet Me

Triston Casas again. Dude loves a tweet

Bestie

Alex Cora gives this one to Alex Bregman.

Who Me

Aroldis Chapman

Call Me

When you need someone to shut the game down. Justin Slaten

Be Good

The Big Three (as in, you better be good. Please, be good!)

Sweet Talk

Jarren Duran. Use your filter this season, huh?

Wink Wink

Josh Winckowski

Ur Hot

Craig Breslow. About half of Red Sox Nation thinks Ur Hot after the Bregman signing. But even they need to admit you’re a little streaky.

Bite Me

Craig Breslow. This is from the other half of Red Sox Nation, who aren’t thrilled with you right now. Or your offseason.

Marry Me

Seven-year-old me, to Jim Rice